The mystery of the murderous smile

It is really difficult to stand still and smile while you are being insulted. I know this first hand. Working retail often puts you at the dangerous end of someone's long day or emotional frustraion. We've all done it too. I have worked retail and serivce for more than 5 years and I am ashamed to admit that I have taken a long day out on many an undeserving service clerk or waitress.
Sadly I am a prime example of being able to dish it out, but not being able to take it. The closest I can come to handling insults is a sly smile, an apology, and throngs of complaints to my family and friends. To those who have suffered at the wrong end of one of My bad days: I am truly sorry. When I am finally clear headed after a day long (or often longer) battle against the great forces of ungratitude, ignorace, and injustice (yes some days I really feel that is true) I am humbly reminded of Martha preparing a feast for her Lord. She was truly doing good work and was upset that no one took notice of the work she did. Her sister was lazy and sat with the men learning and listening. How dare she! I am too often in martha's shoes and too often martyred in my own mind. In colosians, paul reminds us that every work we undertake is for the Lord and not for man. The hard thing is to remember that no one else needs to take notice. It is only his approval you need. A little observation about Martha's story: I'm pretty sure jesus was thankful for all the work martha did to make the meal for him and his followers. I would imagine he thanked her for the food and for being willing to open her home. So his problem doesn't seem to be with her actions, but with her attitude and priorities. Definitely something I need to remember when that oh-so-perky smile and the "thank you" pass over my lips with the anger behind my eyes. I am not doing it for them, and that means they don't have to care. Its not easy to serve. But we are asked to do so. So I'm learning One day at a time